the book of wind: 拈華微笑

thank goodness for the good souls

Beloved Enemy, Dead at 26

I suppose now the
problem is that I'm going to
miss you forever

of course I can let you go
(what other choice do I have)

flatline

so then, in the end
I suppose you got what you
wanted all along

the colours are fading out
the oxygen is thinning

four songs to four phantoms

now and then I dream.
I even miss you, sometimes --
or, at least, your ghost.

I am no ambrosia.
I will strangle you with love.

*

you called me 'muse' first
when locked in a three-month dream;
carved a curse on me.

I knew it, the purest love,
the vinegar tang of woe.

*

inkstain on my soul
a blue welt on my timeline
a gasped wail, tearful --

you never even touched me.
(imagine if you'd done so!)

*

I twitch my fingers
the way I did that sick night.
to prove I am here:

to make sure I'm still awake
breathing, gloriously free.

Hypervigilance

there is no point in
hiding your deceitful tracks
post-shambles, Janus.

own your own falsehoods and rot.
(smile with both your faces, but --

never think that I don't see.
you've made me practised at this.)

かめん

you loved her as her.
she loved you as someone else,
whoever that was.

love is wearing the right mask
and burning yourself alive

簡単 (Simple)

for co-Cassie

just quickly, tonight
I swallow down my fear and
exhale. I must learn

to trust you. to trust myself.
what will be will simply be.

狐/魔法 (170218)

the boy like lightning
floating over the pale ice
amidst the thunder;

he has rekindled magic.
he dances in a white flame.

Sunglasses

damn things silence me.
how can I speak to you if
I am forced blind?

the world rarely understands
as it is. vital, your eyes.

友情 (Friendship)

I will gather my
life into my own two hands
and then I will live

I will gather my
light into my own two eyes
then I will blind them

you are not my jailer; nor
are you my friend (never were)